When a Teacher Faces Loss
When a teacher faces loss, it is natural to think that prayer and giving the teacher time alone to grieve are the two best things you can do. Read on to see how one teacher’s family discovered the power of prayer in not one, but many practical ways, thanks to the overwhelming support of her church and school family.
When my dad passed away unexpectedly last September, our family had the opportunity to see a church and Christian school family extend not only crucial prayer but also many helping hands to support my mom, a first-grade teacher, and our entire family.
No matter what role you play in your school family, there is a special way you can support a teacher and her family during their time of loss.
Critical Support
Immediate support is critical. As soon as Mom told a close teacher friend that Dad was in emergency surgery, she had spread the word, and before long the school administrator, his wife, her pastor, and others from her school and church family were there with her in the waiting room, praying and singing hymns.
After the news of Dad’s homegoing, her teacher friend brought Mom home, still in a state-of-shock, and spent that first night with her. With immediate family living miles away, how grateful we all are that Mom was not alone during those critical first hours.
Creative Support
The needs of a family enduring the loss of a loved one are great, especially during the week of the funeral. Our family still marvels at the creative support of Mom’s school and church family. Perhaps the key to this creativity was selfless sensitivity, the kind we read about in the book of Philippians. Rather than just ask what needed to be done, friends put themselves into Mom’s shoes and just saw what needed to be done—and then did it.
School faculty and staff took the initiative to drive to the airport and back to pick up family members for the funeral. They prepared food, ordered pizza (who says you have to cook?), and brought over paper products needed for meals and the surplus of family guests—plus plenty of tissues to go around! One teacher even used her family airline connections to secure a ticket for my brother-in-law whose work schedule demanded that he travel later than his wife.
Collective Support
In addition to creative individual efforts, school was cancelled for the funeral day, and the teachers sweetly “surprised” Mom by forming a small ensemble to sing a song that focused on the comfort found in Jesus.
Also, the elementary grades, filled with Mom’s current and former students, and under the leadership of their teachers, were video-taped singing a special song about the gospel to be shown at the funeral. We found comfort in knowing that those at the funeral who didn’t know the saving love of Christ were able to see it so clearly in not only that video presentation but also the entire funeral.
Classroom Support
After the funeral week, the school principal approached Mom’s transition back to school with remarkable sensitivity and insight. She arranged for a substitute teacher for the funeral week and two weeks following, slowly easing Mom back into the classroom.
The first week after the funeral, Mom visited her class at the end of one day to visit and to thank them for praying, saying that she was looking forward to being back with them soon.
The second week following, Mom was back in the classroom, but not in teaching mode. She used the time to visit with each student one-on-one to gauge progress and then to work ahead in her lesson plans and catch up on paperwork.
By the third week, Mom took the teaching reins again, but with the understanding that if she felt the need to leave, she could. This approach worked well for both teacher and students.
Continuing Support
The prayer support didn’t end with the funeral. Answers to prayers continued through the first snow when a teacher and his son weathered the icy roads and picked Mom up for school. And at Christmas-time, a parent even gave Mom a special Christmas ornament that acknowledged our remembrance of Dad.
When Valentine’s Day came around, Mom found herself at the dinner table of a young couple whose child was in her class. This couple was sensitive enough to also invite another woman about my mom’s age who had also lost her husband. These two discovered much they had in common, and Mom later said how much she enjoyed that evening.
Those who took the time to send sympathy cards may not realize it, but that seemingly small gesture gave us all an enduring sense of being prayed for and cared for. The most smiles I saw on Mom’s face occurred when she was sitting at the dining room table, going through her stack of cards and at times, reading them aloud to those around her. Don’t hesitate to send cards, even though they may be “late. The most encouraging card I received came about three weeks later. The writer simply said that she knew I was still grieving and that she was still praying. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
Christ-like Support
Our family still marvels at and derives comfort from the Christian love we were shown during this difficult time. We are eternally grateful for this close-knit church and school family and have a better understanding of Paul’s message to us in Philippians 1:1–4.
Consolation, comfort, fellowship, mercy—these words of Scripture come to life when a church and school family take the time to look away from their own individual interests in order to focus “on the things of others.”
Kristen Moore lives in Greenville, South Carolina where she serves as coordinator of BJU Press eNews. You can write her at kmmoore@bjupress.com.