Let Them Speak...
Weeding Out Dialogue Distractions
Dialogue is simply two or more characters talking in a story. When a writer tells us details about his characters, we might feel that we’re standing outside a window looking in at them. But when a writer lets us hear his characters speak, he opens the door and leads us right into their living room. Dialogue is a very important way to reveal character while advancing your story at the same time.
Remember that you want your characters’ voices to be the main focus. Choose the least distracting way to let readers know who is speaking. It’s best to eliminate “colorful” dialogue tags like teased Caroline, Mom scolded, inquired Uncle Floyd, etc. No need to pull out the thesaurus and find twenty different synonyms for said and asked. The more generic the tag, the better.
“Please take the piranha out of the bathtub immediately,” said Uncle Floyd.
“Could I put him in the kitchen sink—just for a few hours?” Caroline asked.
Another dialogue downer is tagging each character’s speech with a tacked-on adverb that interprets the tone for the reader.
“Are we almost there?” Emily asked impatiently.
“Soon,” Dad said vaguely.
“Do you need a snack, Emily?” Mom asked knowingly.
“How about a cookie!” Jason said excitedly.
Tags like these are actually a throwback to an earlier writing style, and they make your work look dated when you use them today. Instead keep the tags simple, and let the reader figure out the tone from the words themselves.
Lengthy tags are another distraction. The reader becomes bogged down in all the description in the tag and forgets what was said. Avoid attaching subordinate clauses to dialogue tags, as in this example.
“Mom, guess what?” said Tiana as she raced to the car, opened the door,
tossed her bookbag on the floor, and gave Mom a hug.
Tiana can’t be doing all these things as she says one little three-word sentence. It would be better to make the subordinate clause into a separate sentence…or two, in this case.
Tiana raced to the car and opened the door. “Mom, guess what?” She tossed
her bookbag on the floor and gave Mom a hug.
You don’t need tags after each speaker’s lines. Remember that you begin a new paragraph each time the speaker changes. Eventually your reader will get into the rhythm of the conversation and may only need a reminder tag here and there. And actually, you can even substitute action details for tags. Sometimes a sentence before the quotation can reveal the speaker clearly enough without any tag at all.
Heidi grabbed Zach’s arm. “Did you hear a noise in that tree overhead?”
Zach halted. His scalp prickled. “Like the flapping of giant wings? Yeah, I did.”
Let the dialogue in your story flow, unhindered by “tag issues.” You’ll be surprised how much more sparkle your dialogue has when you weed out distractions and simply let your characters speak.
